Beating up the bullies

From today's Charlottetown Guardian, covering the Island like the Dew....

KID GRABS AXE TO SCARE OFF BULLIES

To make a long story short, a kid was a frequent victim of bullies on his school bus on PEI. School buses are a tough one, one adult trying to keep everyone alive while the kids run wild. My bus ride was an hour each way when I went to school on PEI.

So, the kid gets hit with some Nerf darts, flips, and grabs an axe from the front of the bus and heads towards his attackers. Some other kids stop him -- either through talking or grabbing, probably both.

Now here is where my observations of my fellow Islanders comes into play. No one likes a bully, and the best response to bullying is always to fight back. I have had a number of bloody noses for that line of thinking.

I was one of the smaller bookish kids they are talking about getting bullied, but I also have a temper and learned early on that getting punched only hurts so much... a lesson I suppose I'll have to someday teach my infant son. Thanks tackle football, I learned pain management well.

"Listen son, I'm not saying to hit these guys, but if you do, hit hard and don't stop until someone makes you stop." He's a big kid, I feel bad for the bullies.

Getting away from bullies is like getting away from a bear, you only have to be faster than the other guys, not the bear. You have to make yourself an undesirable target. I will raise my boy to not be a victim.

As my Dad always said, "Well, if he hits you first..."

So, I've been pushed around on the bus, but my ego seems to have escaped unscathed, I was faster than the other "bookish" kids.

I've seen horrific things on school buses in PEI. Bus bullying has a long history on "The Gentle Island", and I understand the response... in favor of the kid with the axe.

The comments section following the article is very much in favor of the kid with the axe.... no kidding. Here is a selection:

-- The bullies on the bus are to blame. It should be their names that are printed and they need to be held accountable for their actions.

-- What those bullies need is a good sh!t kicking. Its too bad the only weapon the poor kid had was an axe, that wa a bit much. A baseball bat would have made the proper point, quit bullying my or the next time it won't be a bat.

-- Apparently, yesterday, he finally had enough of their crap. Hope the discipline dished out to the bullies is at least as harsh as the kid who picked up the axe. Actually, I hope the kid who was bullied gets no discipline, whatsoever.

-- I hate to say this, but if the bullies had gotten a taste of the axe, I wouldn't have much sympathy for them. They brought it on themselves.

-- If that kid got the chance to whack one of those Bullies with the axe....... there'd no more bullying on that bus! I feel bad for that axe-wielding kid.

-- It's interesting how everyone seems to be in agreement that the bullies need a harsher punishment than the kid who picked up the axe...Let's hope the school board feels the same way as well.

-- Stop making this kid sound like an axe swinging murderer. He was goin to hit him with the wooden end! It would have hurt but not likely killed.

-- If I was the kid who was being bullied, I would have done the same thing, and there had been times where i had felt that way. I feel there is no solution to stop bullying.

-- Yes, we must NOT blame the kid with the axe - as one can only handle so much.......maybe a good whack would have stopped the bullies from ever bullying again! they need a good pounding put on them!!

-- Its really to bad, he didnt kick some As*

-- i applaud this young fella for standing up for himself this happens too much and it took a lot of balls to stand up for himself and i bet you he feels like a new man now

The people of PEI have spoken... it is OK to weild an axe at a bully, as long as you don't use the sharp end.

Me, I would have just recommended a crazy flurry of punches, until they made you stop.... or they beg for mercy.

Credit where credit is due

To Inflatable Elvis for this bad-ass new photo for my header....

Yeah, I look like a foreign correspondent, like I was in The West Bank or something.

Watch our show tomorrow to see for yourself exactly what I am up to.

Cylons for McCain

Maybe John McCain is the final Cylon... we would never see that coming.

Star Wars Trumpet Solo

2.3 million views can't be wrong, just watch it:

Ticking Time Bomb

EDITOR'S NOTE: This post is all PEI inside chatter. If you have a passing interest in eccentric millionaries, Liberal Party politics and small town pushing matches, read on. Or, if you follow PEI politics, you'll dig it. Otherwise, tomorrow I'll rant about the Lost finale.

Tim Banks has a blog.

If you aren't from PEI, this will mean very little to you. To me, it is an unrivaled source of potential chaos.

Mr. Banks is one of those PEI business figures who looms over the province like the mist from potato chemicals. He owns APM, which is responsible for most of the new construction on PEI and much of the Maritimes. He also owns a home which may or may not be illegally placed on PEI's sand dunes.

He is further more a well connected Liberal, and former party President on PEI. Paul Martin comes to PEI, he stays at Tim Banks', I don't know if he is tight with Dion or not.

Banks is a self-made millionaire, and a bit of an ecentric one. He loves to be in the press, and whenever one of his developments has faced a zoning problem, he is front and center. He also appears on political panels and the like.

With this blog, an unfiltered venue for him to speak his mind, he will shoot himself in the balls.

He is already attacking the bloated provincial government golf industry, and good on him for it... of course, it is because him and his buddies lost their tee times, but still, the enemy of your enemy...

Of course, his friends now run that clusterfuck of a good old boys network... but he can't resist commenting... the potential for hilarity is massive.

Moreover, he has enough money to go and buy himself new balls once he shoots his current set off.

This blog will be entertaining to me for a while, me thinks.

I'ev only had one dealing with Mr Banks, when I was a student working as a waiter over the summer. He tipped 15 per cent, and I got a kick out of watching his son run around with a lobster bib on like a Superman cape. He was a good customer.

That, and he once passed me in his very nice looking sports car. I would have passed me too.

True facts

Arrowroots Rule

Arrowroot cookies are Mr Christie's gift to parenting. That is all.

Inside Job

Ever think that reporters are all in it together, some sort of liberal media conspiracy.... here is some evidence. From today's Nunatsiaq News, on the closure of the infamous Kamotiq Restaurant in Iqaluit:



THAT'S MY HAMBURGER. There were five reporters at that table. Check out what one of them had to say about the Kamotiq's last day:

The Kamotiq has been closed before - by the liquor inspector, the fire inspector, the health inspector, and by its own staff, when they decided to not show up to work. But this time, it seems, the closure is permanent.

Or better yet, read the story yourself here

I hadn't been there in months, mostly because the smoke pouring from the kitchen was deemed unsafe for our baby... no one likes a kid that sweats grease.



EDITOR'S NOTE: All photos brazenly stolen from Nunatsiaq News.

That's some sick shit

like two dogs fucking a cat.

Read on true believer:

Seal tries sex with penguin
First known example of sex attempt between mammal, other vertebrate

A seal has been caught on camera trying to have sex with a penguin.

This seems to be the first known example of a sexual escapade between a mammal and another kind of vertebrate such as a bird, reptile or fish, "although some mammals are known to have attempted sexual relief with inanimate — including dead things — objects," said researcher Nico de Bruyn, a mammal ecologist at the University of Pretoria in South Africa.

One summer morning, scientists observing elephant seals on a beach on Marion Island near the Antarctic spotted a young male Antarctic fur seal subduing a king penguin.

"At first we thought it was hunting the penguin, but then it became clear that his intentions were rather more amorous," de Bruyn recalled today via email.

The roughly 240-pound seal subdued the 30-pound adult penguin by lying on it. The hapless bird of unknown sex struggled, rapidly flapping its flippers and attempting to stand and flee, without luck.

The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin and thrusting its pelvis at the bird in vain attempts to insert its penis for 45 minutes. Natural, unsuccessful sexual escapades by this variety of seal with members of its own species may last as long as this penguin assault did, "but yes, it is quite a long time and thus unusual," de Bruyn told LiveScience.

The seal then abruptly gave up, moving to sea and completely ignoring the target of its affections. The penguin apparently did not suffer any injury. The scientists detailed their findings in the May issue of the Journal of Ethology.

Sexual harassment is common in the animal kingdom — "Homo sapiens are often testimony to that," de Bruyn said.

Many species perform some form of sexual harassment on members of their own species, "for a variety of reasons many of which are hotly debated," he added.

Many species of seal are polygynous, where one male mates with many females. The males often fight each other to control females.

"This system thus promotes extreme aggression in males towards each other, and if a male cannot control a beach, this aggression may spill over to sexual aggression directed at outlying females, pups or even in rare cases other seal species," de Bruyn said.

And this sexual aggression apparently might leap well beyond the species gap.

The Antarctic fur seals of Marion Island are the only ones known that eat king penguins. The thrill of the hunt felt by the seal the researchers saw may have channeled into its sex drive, as the mating season had just come to an end.

"It may have wanted to eat it and half-way through the chase changed its mind," de Bruyn speculated. "I personally believe the link between aggressive and sexual behavior is evolutionarily far closer linked than we currently believe. This has obvious implications for humans."

A microphone is a loaded gun

W-NBC New York last night, a mistake happens and the anchor let her frustration be known. A microphone is like a gun, always assume it is on. ALWAYS. I once called The Tragically Hip "dirty old whores" while their music played on CKIQ, because I was on hold for a call and thought the phone would never be on air. I was wrong.



EDITOR'S NOTE: Look at the stories on the bottom of the viewer, all of them are f'bombs dropped live on air. Also, The Tragically Hip are dirty old whores.

Scary things in Statcounter

I track my hits, and I stay at a pretty consistent level. i also track the search terms that bring people here, and, at the risk of sounding paranoid, I think they are out to get me, and not in that fun Guns and Roses kind of way.

These are some of the terms showed my blog:

double o tranny -- I called Transcontinental Media 'Tranny Cons" after they shut down The Daily News, makes sense.

olson twinnin -- from a Roots song I talked about here, "The good rapeprs ain't eatin'/ they Olson Twinnin'" I also got a hit for "she told me that the radios been playin the same song all day long"

evangeline lilly in the flesh -- I made a cheeky comment about the "sexy misadventures" the talented Ms. Lilly in my Lost post.

kent driscoll guide service -- They are searching for my name doppleganger, world reknowned crappie fisherman Kent Driscoll of Cordova Tennessee. Me, I'm just a crappy fisherman. Someday I'll interview Kent Driscoll, and the universe will implode.

michael stipe they airbrushed my face -- I mentioned that classic photo in a post about the AWG blog, which featured my giant head.

Now here is where it gets weird:

kent north dies

Someone actually searched the terms "kent north dies"... on April 27th, from Talahassee, Florida. Like John From Cincinatti likes to say, "I got my eye on you."

EDITOR'S NOTE: John from Cincinatti was cancelled. I loved that show.

The Europeans are coming

International journalists are a fact of life here in Nunavut. At my work, we have one of the few satellite feeds in Nunavut, and we get a fair share of the TV guys who show up. We get some good ones (my buddy Per from Norway is a good example).

There is nothing worse than a journalist who has the story they want to write already written in their head before they even visit where they want to go.

That is why I fear for this summer. Check this from CBC today, on the subject of the many scientists visiting here for International Polar Year research:

Scientists won't be the only new faces northerners will notice this summer: Thomas said she's also noticed a big increase in the number of journalists interested in covering International Polar Year activities.

Journalists taking interest in the North, that is great. Problem is, many have the story already written in their minds before they board a flight.

This is from a BBC story (we aren't talking about fly-by-night operations here, we are talking big players). The author is discussing global warming in Nunavut. This what he had to say about the rink in Kugluktuk:

We later discussed sport and the popularity of ice hockey in Canada. Jack told us that until a few years ago, youngsters used to play on the ice rink in Kugluktuk, "but now it no longer freezes over so the kids can't play anymore".

There is a germ of truth in there, but it is set up to defend a false arguement. The entire article is about global warming, and the implication is that global warming is behind the problems with the rink in Kugluktuk.

The whole story is here

Or, what they call the whole story. I have reported on the rink in Kugluktuk. They can't make ice IN THE WINTER. Let me try that again, THEY CAN'T MAKE ICE IN THE WINTER!!!!

The problem isn't global warming, to make ice in the winter, they just have to leave the doors open. The problem is that they installed pipes to provide cooling for the ice surface when the rink was built, but never purchased the ice-making equipment to hook up to the pipes that run under the ice surface.

The pipes leach heat from the heated dressing rooms to the ice surface. That isn't a global warming problem, that is yet another infrastructure problem in a territory plagued by them.

I sent that story and a version of this warning to my friend Per, when he contacted us from Norway before landing here. He saw the problem right away, and promised me he wasn't looking to do anything like that.

Global warming is real.

A bunch of well-meaning left-leaning know-nothings, with their heady dreams of Arctic Adventure, and a set agenda before they get off the plane does nothing to help global warming, or the people of Nunavut.

Call me jaded, but I don't go out of my way to help international journalists anymore. The novelty has worn off, and their work is suspect.

I'll be looking for more factual errors over the course of the summer. Mis-spell a name, I'll cut you some slack. Invent implied facts, I'll jump up and down and scream bloody murder. I may even do a story about it if there are enough of them.

The Europeans are coming, man the battle stations with stacks of facts.

BSG Fridays

Admiral Adama is the final Cylon.

Now you can go out and do something instead of watching BSG tonight.

Imitation is

... the most sincere form of flattery. Barack Obama has been tossing out compliments left and right.

First, the allegations that the Senator from Illinois had lifted parts of speeches by friends and used them as his own.

As someone who has been paid to write, that one isn't a big problem for me, I've even had my own stuff used by friends when it absolutely fits.... perfect example, the lead line "It happens." to describe a sewer truck spill. The person who used it sent me a note to tell me they had used it, and I thought that was great.



So, no big problem with Obama using some nice turns of phrase from colleagues, coleagues who said on TV they didn't mind.

Now here is where I get into Barack Obama's crime against children everywhere. He stole a famous line froma beloved children's character, so obvious that his lovely young daughters could have told him he was stealing.

"Yes we can."

You can hear that chant at every Obama rally.
"Yes we can
Yes we can!
YES WE CAN!"

Guess who said it first?


That's right, Bob the Builder.

"Can we build it?
YES WE CAN!"

Bob the Builder predates Obama's "Yes we cans" by years. He better offer Bob a job with FEMA if elected. He owes that round little optimist a debt of gratitude, and a damn fine line.