Friday, January 4, 2008

Wiggum in '08

You all must tune in and watch the brand new Simpson's episode on Sunday. It has been a long time since they were this relevant.

The plot this week, Ralph Wiggum runs for President.

Faced with the proverbial rock and hard place, Ralphie boy is the only reasonable choice for American voters in this presidential year.

They haven't done a Ralph-centric episode in years.

Burn 'em all Ralphie, burn 'em all.

Just look at his history, everything he has had to say is on the record, and I back him in his bid for the most powerful office in the world, my cat's breath smells like cat food too:

Domestic policy:

"I flushed a potato down the toilet and now we have to live in a hotel"

"I wanna be a triangle!

International Relations:

"I'm going to Africa to see lions and giraffes and monkeys and Santa and... "

Homeland Security:

"(On fire) In my house we call them "uh ohs".

"My daddy shoots people"


"Me fail English? That's unpossible"


"Then, the doctor told me that BOTH my eyes were lazy! And that's why it was the best summer ever."

The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I just kept my finger outta there

AND the one that makes me laugh the hardest:

Oh boy! Sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!

Me too Ralph, me too.

I Choo-choo choose you Ralph