You can't be called The Cap'm
Unless you drive a boat
Well I don't"
So, today is the most despressing day of the year, Blue Monday:
and I can feel the crazy out there. Friday evening, we went to Northmart to get some food and the like. We are waiting in the line to pay behind this man running around like crazy because he forgot his lemon.
"I just need to get my lemon. Can I pay now and get a lemon on the way out? I really need my lemon," and so on. This guy was lemon fixated.
My seven-year-old step-son says to him, "Lemons, they are too sour."
Then, the shithead turned to the boy and said, "Well, why don't you mind your own business."
The boy is seven. This man is a late 40's lawyer here in Iqaluit, and I remember his face well.
I was a good 15 feet away, but it didn't stop me from shouting after him, "Well, why don't you go to hell." If I had been standing closer, there would have been a forced apology from the jerk... the boy is SEVEN.
Iqaluit is teeming with children, a product of the highest birth rates in Canada. If you can't handle a citrus based inquiry while you are holding up the line for an army of people, move.
Which brings me to my first line, a quote from "The Cap'm" by They Might Be Giants. If you want to fight off the Blue Mondays, I recommend a solid diet of "The Else", their newest album, and produced by the legendary Dust Brothers.
"Look me over, I'm the Cap'm"
And to the lemon maniac, keep your commentary to yourself when you are dealing with other peoples kids. I was very close to losing my temper there.
"We've been driving around
from one end of this town
to the other
No one's ever seen us
driving our Econoline van
and no one's ever heard of our band
We're THE MESOPOTAMIANS"
1 month ago