Looking for a giant map

Last night, I did something I have never done on TV before, I stood in front of a Nunavut map and showed where the individual communities I was talking about are.

It really worked, and I was very happy with the result. So was my boss. So much so that when I asked him this morning, "Can we buy the biggest goddamn map of Nunavut we can find and put it up in the wall here?" he said, 'Sure, good idea."

So, I am officially looking for "the biggest goddamn map of Nunavut" I can find. Any ideas? It has to:

-- stand out on TV
-- be easy to see
-- be so goddamn big that it is an affront to God

The person who finds it will have my admiration, and a smug sense of self-satifaction, and, let's say, some APTN temporary tattoos.

EDITED TO ADD: Of course, I'll post a picture

Tonight, on the TV

-- Find out out how much it costs to fly around in the High Arctic
-- Watch me ham it up with a map
-- Find out about $65 cranberry juice

I am the D block, second to last block of the show, and it is all me. Watch, enjoy, and discuss. How damn bad do you want cranberry juice if you are willing to pay that?

Timing is......

Everything. After I scrawled yesterday's missive on the back of a napkin and had my team of stealth monkeys transcribe it for me, and then had the kids post it, I didn't know the Globe and Mail would give me such a great bow to put on top.

The Prime Minister's Office for three days has refused to respond to queries about a Saturday report published in several Ontario newspapers that the President, on his recent visit to Ottawa, invited Ms. Jean to the U.S. capital to talk about the politics and economy of her native Haiti.

Read it all HERE

Maybe they got the advice from their high priced consultants.... read more about that here.

Internal documents suggest the Harper government downplayed health risks and wanted pricey PR advice after halting plans for new schools on native reserves.

Ask a question, I double dare you

I've mentioned before on this blog about the problems trying to deal with the Prime Minister's press people and policy when he visited Iqaluit. The long and the short is that, in order to ask a question, you have to tell them your question. My question was not one the PM wanted to answer, so I got skipped.

I do not like being skipped, and went on air to complain about it. In reality, being skipped because you want to ask a tough question, that is a bit of a compliment. Plus, I got to talk about it on TV, which shows just the kind of news org we are. We don't take being skipped laying down, or at least I don't and our network supported me in that.

When the ministers of this government roll by, we are asked nicely to identify our organization and try to stay on topic. In reality we do neither, but after question four or so, we generally get around to letting the minister know who we represent.

We all know each other, why shouldn't everybody else.

Point being, we get our questions in, and are even polite enough to wait and see if anyone has anything on the topic they are pushing before ranging farther afield. We have had three cabinet ministers through in the last year, and none of them were as big a hassle as the PM, and none of them tried to screen questions.

I don't even have a problem telling people the general subject so they are prepared, I have a problem with submitting questions for vetting.

Well, I'm not the only one having this problem.... no, I am not the lone voice in the wilderness calling out for accountability, I'm one of a chorus.

The following list of stories comes from J-Source.

-- Even Saint Obama can't get by the restrictions.

Harper's spokespeople threatened to cancel the press conference if, at any point in the day, a Canadian reporter shouts out a question without being invited to do so.

White House reporters habitually bark out queries during photo opportunities with the president.

But nobody had better dare pulling such a stunt in Harper's office.

"If you do (ask a question), the photo op will immediately cease," Teneycke said.

-- What did the Harper Government say to each other about listeriosis (aside from wishing death on the member for Malpeque PEI)? Good luck finding out.

The Harper government has delayed for months the release of notes on conference calls held at the height of last summer's deadly listeriosis outbreak — a lag some experts say breaks Ottawa's own information laws.

-- Go ahead and ask that question, and the RCMP will drag you away.

Mounties protecting Prime Minister Stephen Harper during a campaign event in Surrey, B.C., were used Tuesday evening to stop reporters from approaching a high-profile Tory candidate.

"Keep them out," Harper aide Ray Novak shouted at the RCMP security detail as journalists approached Dona Cadman.

CTV's Rosemary Thompson was literally yanked aside by one Mountie as she approached the retreating group - which did not include the prime minister

-- They even kicked out journalists from the lobby of the Delta in Charlottetown.... while tourists were allowed to rubberneck

No cameras, no mics," one plainclothed RCMP officer told CTV News on Wednesday. "That is what the party asked."

The Canadian Press reported that one officer said he was acting on the orders of the Prime Minister's Office.

First thing that crossed my mind when I was skipped was "I should have just lied to them."

"and your question?"

"Infrastructure."

I didn't at the time, due to default setting honesty.

I'm glad I didn't, because my act of defiance would have been fun and good TV, but given the vindictive and ham-fisted methods of this media department, I would have cut our network across the throat. They would never take a question from us again.

Whether you support the policies of this government or not, everyone should get nervous when an elected minority government takes unprecendented pains to limit media access.

I don't know the answer, but why do I have a sneaking suspicion that sometime this summer, I'm going to have to figure it out. According to the INAC Minister, the PM is "bubbling" after every visit to the North. I'm sure he will be back.

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing, end them.

The Ottawa press corp tried that one. They walked out on the PM because of his question list. It didn't last. That's not really an option for me, and would only limit us.

This isn't just a reporters issue, it is one that should be of great importance to all of us, party politics be damned. These guys make the Government of Nunavut Ministers look like Teddy Ruxpin.

I don't have any easy answers, except to say, I can't miss a chance to use a Teddy Ruxpin photo...

Or, to paraphrase The Roots:
"You ain't a killer brother
You're Teddy Ruxpin soft."

EDITED TO ADD: I forgot about the time he refused to answer questions from a national anchor, because.... well, just because I suppose. I woulnd't want to call anyone "chicken", lest I bring out some sort of McFly chicken response. Read it HERE.

FML

Found a great site today. Go here

It is called FML.... the ml stands for My Life.

It contains reader submitted gems like:

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML

Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML

Today my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

Great site

"Make Believe That A Full Year Stayed In the Heat"

Step 1: Go to Smothered in Hugs brand new website.

Step 2: Go to the AV Section, and download FIVE SONGS.

Step 3: Listen to Passmore Radio.

Step 4: Tell me what the fuck he is singing....

I listen to these guys and get visions of listening to REM on vinyl at my buddy Errol's place. They are like before Peter Buck got let down by his bandmates.

These guys are from PEI, I think they are great, and even the member of the band I know didn't have any idea what they were singing about in Passmore.... go figure...

We also should have gone to jail this summer -- or at least had a stern talking to by the police of the dangers of melon based frivolity -- but I digress.

"The Healing Power of Injury" sounds great from what I have heard. Check it our yourself.... or watch them right bloody here:

Goodnight Moon

The NBA All-Star BReak saw the trading away of my least favourite Raptor, Jamario Moon, known for bad defence and taking stupid shots out of range way too early in the shot clock.

To Honour this great day in Raptor history, I am about to cruxify a classic. Enjoy:

In the General Manager's room
There was a telephone
And a red balloon
And a picture of -

Jamario Moon
And there was one Jermaine O'Neal sitting on a chair

And two Miami Heat
And a slicked back Pat Riley
And a man called the Matrix
And a young backup point guard

And a cry and a crush and a bowl full of losses
And Jose on crutches whispering hush

Goodnight room
Goodnight Moon
Goodnight O'Neal jumping over the Moon
Goodnight Reilly and the two Heat
Goodnight Matrix
Goodnight guard

Goodnight Jose
And goodnight Bosh
Goodnight losses and goodnight stupid threes
Goodnight ACC and goodnight Riley
Goodnight guards and goodnight Kopono's minutes
Goodnight nobody, goodnight mush
And goodnight to Jose on crutches whispering "hush"

Goonight stars
Goodnight air
Goodnight noises everywhere .....

Good night Moon. May the door not hit you on the ass on the way out of town.

On the other hand, Jermaine O'Neil, when that overinflated contract is up, please, come on back. You are OK in my books. You are the first player in NBA history to be thrown out of their own bobblehead night, henceforth known as Joe-Neil.

Hug a Reporter

Yes, we all know that Saturday is Valentines Day, at least we do in my house. The Boy and I are going shopping for flowers later today (don't worry, she never reads this thing;) ). It will be romantic. I'll take the baby to swimming lessons and she will use his absence to clean the carpets. Hey, covering each other off IS romantic,.

Me, I'm a fan of March 14, official "Steak and A Blowjob" day. Think of it as Valentines Day from the man's point of view.

But Feb 15 is a VERY important day, as my email tells me. It is international "Hug a Journalist" day. Find your favourite reporter and give them a BIG hug, they deserve it.

The collapse of media is only part of it, there are the physical threats.

Especially after I read this:... a series of stories about journalists in Newfoundland being stalked. I've been working on and off in media since I was 19, and I've seen a few things, but nothing like this.

I've seen radio jocks get stalked, but he shouldn't have been picking from the unstable corner of the Tradewinds if you know what I mean. Sort of brought it on himself.

I've been the radio van boy and had junior high girls find many reasons to come back for more pop.... you smile and laugh it off.

But TV, TV brings out the loonies. When you see us, it is like we are real, which we are, just not the way you think we are.

When I went to our annual meeting/Xmass bash, it freaked me out a little. I was in a room with 500 members of the company and their spouses. They watch our show, and they all knew who the hell I was. I didn't know them.

I mentioned it to the other reporters, who decided that my physical appearance and my series of appearances about the Nunavut election must have played a role. "You have long hair and that beard, of course they recognize you."

It wasn't creepy, it was sort of nice. These were people who cared about our show and wanted to talk about it. Me, I just wanted to drink more imported beers, but the people were too nice for me to be stand-offish.

I'm insulated from that here in Nunavut. Here, the Pope could walk down the street, and the most he would get is a "Qanuippit Your Holiness." Ask Jack White of the White Stripes, no one gave those two people a hard time when they were here. Just a "Hey Jack, Hey Meg" and let them be on their way.

Hug a journalist on Sunday. Better yet, because we get the stalkers, HUG A TV REPORTER. I'll be at the Nav for breakfast, I'll take my hugs there.

EDITED TO ADD: I won't really be at the Nav for breakfast, so keep your stalking to yourself.

The Globe and Mail thinks I'm a bastard

OK, not the paper, but the shrink they brought in to discuss the video you can see here, David After the Dentist.

Read the story here.

David, if I exploited you, I'm sorry. Me, I just remember my first experience with getting doped up at the hospital. I was 12 and went from wanting to fight the nurses to, well, something else that starts with "f".

I still think it is a cute video, not exploitive, and definetely not like Star Wars kid.

Of government websites and minor political hackery

I was looking around on line today, and checked out the message boards over at PEIInfo.com. It seems the the government of PEI has redesigned their website..

Now, as we all know, message boards are the second lowest form of human communication out there (comment sections on national news websites are the lowest).

The partisans over at the message board were bashing Rob Ghiz like a Japanese whaler, over the decision to......

wait for it........

put his picture on the website.....

and to use "Liberal" red (hey jerks, it is Colonel Grey maroon, not Liberal red. Blast him on that).

Off hand, I can think of ten things I would be more pissed off at Premier Rob about... let's start with:

1 - closing rural schools
2 - grabass Deputy Ministers and how much they get paid
3 - the performance of various ministries and their ministers
4 - which Liberal supporters received money from the mysterious Chinese
5 - why people in Western PEI are fighting over windmills
6 - a home EXPLODING in Cornwall (ok, maybe not Rob's fault, but it is Cornwall related, and I hope they find their cat)
7 - the price of milk
8 - the collapse of farming
9 - Government employees faking documents on ATIP requests
10 - Govt reworking the very same website to make sure that public info remains private

See, not hard. A little substance, and I didn't even have to interview anyone. I don't live there, I'm not even that mad about any of it. The one I'm really mad about is not on this list

The reasons are several,
most of them federal
(had to quote Public Enemy, because it does take A Nation Of Millions to Hold Me Back ;))).

The media is no better. "Senator" Duffy says something stupid and they can't do enough stories.....

and never once mention that using the image of two men together in bed as "disgusting" is a pretty damn homophobic thing to say....

But it got me thinking. The Government of Nunavut has a website, and it used to have Premier Okalik's smiling face up there. I remember because they changed his photo when he shaved his moustache.

Go check it now. No Premier Aariak on the front page. What is up with that?

Either Rob or Eva need some hubris, or one needs to lose some. They should sort it out at the next First Minister's meeting, or commission a study, whichever one is determined to be less effective.

Next year's Raptors

Yes, with this season fully in the crapper, I got out a list of restricted and unrestricted free agents for next year. Let this season continue as it has, and maybe we can win the Draft Lottery.

First up, people soon to be ex-Raptors:
Jamario Moon - We can not be rid of this player soon enough. His selfish shooting has been glaring. If you can get even tempered Chris Bosh to call you out on the floor, time to hit the road Mr restricted free agent. I'd take a bag of nachos for him right now.

Will Solomon - Hope you enjoyed the cup of coffee with the Raps. See ya later.

Anthony Parker: HIs bad slump let us all know that there are few miles left on this model... class guy, but needs replacing.

Joey Graham - The only one on the FA list I would keep. If his value hasn't risen too much, I see a role for him with the club. Joey is my secret favourite, let him continue down his slow road of progress.

Now on to the sugar, who is out there? Few names have my interest....

Richard Hamilton from Detroit could be the answer to the low production out of the 2 guard spot, and would add some toughness

Shawn Marion from Miami would play the three, and would be some nice help for our three big rotation. Gives them another outlet.

Damien Wilkens from OKC can play the two or the three. I like him.

Grant Hill from Phoenix is in the middle of a career resurgance.... I'd take him for leadership alone

Now imagine a perfect world where this is the Raptors line-up:
PG - Jose Calderon
SG - Hamilton or Wilkens
SF - Marion or Hill
PF - Bosh
C - O'Neal

Bargnani plays for sixth man of the year, and Joey Graham is right off the bench behind him. Roko stays to develop, Kapono plays spot minutes, and Big Nate keeps on keepin on...

Hooray for swimming

The baby and I are signed up for swimming lessons. Great fun, and Aquatots is a great program with lots of safety features and training for tot and keeper alike.

We went on Saturday, saw lots of people we knew, and had a ton of fun.

Only thing, the baby doesn't like the songs they sing, Ring Around the Rosey and Twinkle Twinkle..... so I quietly sing him his own song...

To the tune of Anarchy in the UK:

"I am an Aquatot
and I am an anarchist
don't know what I want
but I know how to get it
I'm going to spalsh
the passersby
and I
want to see
ANARCHY
on the high seas
follow me."

That's my boy, Sex Pistols over Nursery Rhymes..... watching his brother play too much RockBand I suppose.

"Is this going to be forever..."

Little guy in this video just had teeth pulled, and was suitably doped up. Fantastic video, and watch until the end, about halfway through he fights for his sanity primally.

Readers Beware

I don't think I'm jaded, but I have been to court a lot. I've sat in on sex cases, murders and most of the sick things that pop to mind when you consider court coverage.

That said, I'm damn glad I don't work in Nova Scotia.

You've heard about the Boudreau case, right? A mother kills her own daughter to keep her dirtbag boyfriend, runs to the press to cry about her being missing, and then the details come out.

There are stories here that will make you sick to your stomach.

CBC Story

Herald on the neighbour

Herald on the crime

There is evil out there. Real evil. The kind of evil that does the things in those stories.

I'm not one to break into tears over the monitor, but I didn't make it all the way through these stories without a break.

EDITED TO ADD: The police really did their job right in this case. Solid good policework from a local department. Some things work sometimes.

EDITED AGAIN TO ADD: The boyfriend tried to kill himself last night. Read about it here.

and more about the sting they used to get the confession here.