Monday, February 25, 2008

Permafrost Destabilization

It isn't the fact that the permafrost is melting in Arctic Bay, resulting in the foundation of the school being in a mess...

Nope, melting would indicate some sort of infrastructure problem based around global warming that would just be too big and scary for everyone to deal with.

So the school isn't sinking, according to the Minister of Education, it is suffering from "permafrost destabilization".

I have some other suggested terms:

Not "poverty" rather "statistically verified financial deficits"
Not "violent crime" rather "trend demonstrated social activity"
Not "homeless" rather "temporary traditional lifestyle"
Not "election" rather "mandated performance review"

Not "ducking the question" rather "considering all the options before we table a detailed report addressing your queries, after consulting with all the stakeholders involved, to produce an inclusive document which will provide a full understanding of all the pertinant issues, while maintaining the high standards you have come to enjoy, and eventually blame the feds."

I wonder how that sounds in Inuktitut... look for it at a legislative assembly near you soon.