Friday, October 2, 2009

No Easy Layups

My beloved Raptors are in Ottawa for training camp, with only three players still in place from last year's roster. Considering last year, that is most welcome. However; the new players may not have a sense of Raptors history, which is the subject of this here blog post.

Rasho, you are an old new face, you can skip this.

There are three players in the league who can never receive an easy layup at the ACC. Only three. Thing is, your first two home games feature 2 of those guys, so here is a primer on the No Easy Layup list for the Toronto Raptors home games.

Vince Carter: Crybaby Vince. I'm going to take my ball and go home Vince. My mother makes comments for me in the press Vince Carter. Vince Carter demanded a trade out loud, reducing his trade value to next to nothing. He made statements about the city, the franchise and his teammates. He is public enemy number 1. I was sitting in a hotel room in Winnipeg last year when he killed us in overtime with that reverse dunk, felt like puking. Fans boo him in Toronto before he gets off the bus, and every time he touches the ball, and he earned it. Other stars have left and do not get booed, Tracy McGrady doesn't get attacked while touching the ball. VC is special, don't forget it. He gave up on the team, here is what he said, when asked if he tried to play hard after deciding eh wanted a trade, "In years past, no. I was fortunate to have the talent. You get spoiled when you're able to do a lot of things. You see that you don't have to work at it."

Kevin Garnett: For KG, the "No Easy Layup" decree should spread all over the league. Last year he got so close to CB4 during a posession that his chin was actually resting on Bosh's chest. I think Bosh should have knocked his shining head clean off, but CB4 is a man of peace. He got involved in a taunting incident with Jose Calderon during that game. Earlier in the season, with the game in hand, the Celtics pulled an alley-oop dunk on the Raps while they were running out the clock. It was so low rent that Triano took a meaningless timeout to display his anger. Better extend that no Easy Lay Up rule to the entire roster of Celtics.

Shaquille O'Neal: Last year he called Bosh "the Ru-Paul of big men", and stole a television show from Canadian Steve Nash. Considering his age, his mouth is writing checks his body can't cash. Pheneomal dancer or not, there must be no easy lay ups for O'Neal in Toronto.

See, these are the special cases. Antonio Davis was afraid of the metric system, but no one booed him. No one boos TJ Ford, or Jermaine O'Neal, and both are former Raps who could have been more successful in their time there. Even if Bosh decides to sign somewhere else, I won't boo him, he has to make a business decision. As long as he doesn't demand a trade, thereby reducing his trade value, all is well.

The above three, no easy lay-ups. Those are the rules of the ACC.