Go see a doctor immedietely, there is something wrong with your pubes

In what is rapidly becomming a Friday tradition, I present you with my new favourite site of the week:

Passive Aggressive Notes

For those notes you see everywhere, like "Clean up after yourself, you mother doesn't live here". Anyone who has spent too much time in an office knows all about it.

Here is a favourite, the Rocket Pubes missive:

You want the fucking weather?

I got the fucking weather right fucking here:

www.thefuckingweather.com

Funny site

PETA KILLS ANIMALS

PETA adopted almost 2000 animals, killed them, and dumped them behind the Piggly Wiggly.

Healthy animals ready for adoption.

But eating a seal, or even owning a pet, is wrong....

There is no emoticon to express my anger....

I guess to save the village they had to kill the village, and these jerks are mad about a humane harvest of doomed whales? Fuck off.

.... when they aren't playing the Raptors

Me: When do we cheer for Dwight Howard?

The Boy: When he isn't playing against the Raptors.



Orlando big man Dwight Howard -- known to The Boy and countless others as Superman -- is too much fun to watch.... except when his team won't give him the ball.

The late Inflatable Elvis and I have been watching this Boston/Orlando series with some interest, as we have been paying attention to Orlando all season long. Inside/outside game, Superman himself, and they seem like guys worth cheering for.

Except the coaches... the body language has been way off. Orlando coach Stan Van Gundy has an intense personaility and it is clear that the players have tuned him out. It got worse after Superman got suspended for a game for an uncharacteristic nasty elbow, and the team won.

Some players even commented anonymously afterwards that they are better WITHOUT Howard. Something about freeing them up for shots. Hey, MR Three Point specialist, Charles Barkley was right last night.

He said, "There are two kind of threes, the ones you shoot wide open and the ones where you have a guy hanging off you." Big Mr Howard getting doubled frees up the open man, because until they adopt different rules, it is five guys a side.

You can see the tension on the bench. I saw 13 year veteran Anthony Johnson holding his head in his hands following a run in with one of the coaches. Looked like he was crying. No one looks at the coach during timeouts. And they don't run the plays they need to.... like give the ball to the future Hall of Famer and get the hell out of the way.

So, last night, the Magic throw away a clear win against the EVIL Boston Celtics (I will never forget that classless alley-oop against the Raptors following a complete drubbing. So bad that Triano -- congrats Jay on the new coaching gig -- called a timeout to draw attention to it).

Back to the Magic collapse. Howard said after the game:

"We moved the ball, we ran, got easy shots, and our coach has to recognize when he was a certain group out there and they are getting the job done and we have to leave those guys on the floor. We are going to make mistakes, but I think you have to go with what works."

To translate, that is equilavent to, in NBA terms, of Ron Artest showing up for Game Six with a table leg in his hand. Howard is a lamb, never heard him say anything bad about anybody, even when Shaq was taking shots at him for using Superman, a Shaq-Fu original.

Dwight.... we would love you in Toronto, with your good friend CB4. You can do all the goofy things you want and we'll love it. Just get your ass under the net and we'll get you the ball. Want to be just like your hero Shaq, LEAVE ORLANDO.

EDITED TO ADD: Seems like the Magic fans agree with Superman, according to the 800 of them who have filled in this poll:

Was it OK for Dwight Howard to criticize his coach Stan Van Gundy?

Yes, it was deserved (501 responses)

58.6%

No, the game plan was fine (23 responses)

2.7%

No, Dwight needs to show team unity right now (331 responses)

38.7%

The Colbert Bump

The good people over at Nunatsiaq better get ready for the Colbert bump.

Faux conservative commentator Stephen Colbert name checked Nunastiaq News last night. I was damn near alseep, looked up, and sure enough, I saw the Nunatsiaq logo on the screen.

In his feature "Smokin' Pole: The Quest for Arctic Riches", he talked about this article from last week's paper:

ICC

He followed the discussion of Inuit sovereignity by looking into the camera and saying "THOSE INDIANS ARE TRYING TO STEAL OUR LAND."

Colbert takes credit for all of the success someone has after an appearance on his show, he calls it The Colbert Bump, after Ron Paul went from 1 to 3 per cent after an appearance.

Congrats, and when The Comedy Network gets around to putting it up on their site, I'll put the link here.

EDITED TO ADD: "Known locally as the cold grey lady".

Ron Artest: Pro Wrestling Villian

Ron Artest is really getting under the skin of Kobe Bryant, and I for one say "good".

Ron needs to be careful however, he has an NBA rap sheet as long as my arm. Remember when the Pistons and Pacers fought in Detroit, and the Pacers fought with fans? Ron started it.

For brevity, I'll just quote Wikipedia. If you have read this far, you probably know the story:

The brawl began with 45.9 seconds remaining in the game, when Indiana led the game 97–82. When Piston center/forward Ben Wallace was fouled by Pacer forward Ron Artest, Wallace responded by shoving Artest in the face, which led to a physical confrontation between several players from both teams.[5] During the argument, Artest laid down on the scorer's table while putting on a headset speaking with Mark Boyle on the local radio. He also taunted Wallace which led Wallace to throw an armband at him. A spectator, John Green, then threw a cup of beer at Artest while he was lying on the table, which hit Artest in the chest.[5]

Artest responded by running into the stands and shoving the man he mistakenly believed was responsible, which triggered a violent response from nearby spectators, and involved Stephen Jackson who had also run into the stands.[5] Another melee started when Artest was confronted on the court by two fans, Alvin "A.J." Shackleford and Charlie Haddad. Artest punched Shackleford, and Jermaine O'Neal intervened by slide-punching Haddad in the jaw.[5]

So, last night, Artest runs the length of the court screaming and shouting at Bryant. Bryant did cheap shot a Rocket in Game One, but on the Kobe style, he kneed him in a pile-up. Bryant is an asshole, not an idiot.

This is the part I love. Here is what Artest had to say after the game:

"Uh, wow. I understand it's the playoffs. I remember when I used to play back home in the neighborhood there were always games like that. I remember one time, one of my friends, he was playing basketball and they were winning the game. It was so competitive, they broke off a piece of leg from a table and they threw it and it went right through his heart and he died right on the court.
"So I'm accustomed playing basketball really rough. When I came into the league, I was used to fighting on the court. That's how I grew up playing basketball. It took me a lot of years to back off and understand, that's not what the league is about.

"Now, I play fair and square and I lose fair and square. I put my arm on Kobe. I touch. You see your man and the ball. Just basic defense. He hits my arm down. I'm telling the ref, he hits my arm. You can't do that.' Then he did it again. I tell the refs, 'You got to control this.' Then he throws an elbow right in my neck. I told Kobe, you can do whatever you want to do. I'm not reacting. I'm going to let the refs control it.'

"What am I going to do" I'm going to continue to get hit? In Game 1, he elbowed Shane. The league says he was just trying to get up. But in Game 1, he clearly was overaggressive on Shane. My team, we're not like that. We're going to win fair and square or lose fair and square. We're not going to initiate anything.

"Kobe is great enough to take over games and lead his team. He could have done it without that.

"For me, the game was great. It was fun. The new league we're in, it was overaggressive. You have to have (guts) to hit a guy like me in the throat. I'm hoping the league looks at it.

"I knew I was going to get a technical foul. The point was to let the refs know I'm (angry), I'm tired of this guy elbowing me. I knew I went over there, no punches, no shoves to the face. Just confrontation. I backed off. That's a technical foul, I would think.
"I went over there with the intention of telling Kobe, you're hitting the wrong person. Don't you know you're hitting Ron Artest?"


God Bless you Ron Artest. I'm cheering for you to win, and I hope all the table legs are secured.

EDITED TO ADD: The next time I end up in a physical confrontation with someone, I'm going to shout, "DON'T YOU KNOW I'M RON ARTEST!"

Run to the HILLS

It is a FREAKIN BEAR..... and don't let that smile fool you, the baby is a bear.



Seriously, how cute is this?


Gets cuter when he gives Big Brother a kiss in an earlier photo... also note, he is wearing Rescue Pack from Go Diego Go.