My love for the Toronto Raptors is deep and abiding, which is why I haven't been writing about them. Not much to write home about this year. 10-15 with a fired head coach and many blown leads.
Thing is, Chris Bosh deserves to be an All-Star, and China is the number one reason why he might not be.
See, there is this guy named Yi Jianlian and he is allegedly the fourth biggest celebrity in China. They allow voting for the All-Star team in China, and 1 billion Chinese are stuffing the ballot box to make sure their boy gets in.
Thing is, he plays the same position as CB4....
Whether you love the Raptors, don't want to loose to the Chinese, have a respect for fairness, have some sort of knee jerk nationalist response, or because you just want to be nice to me, vote for CB4.
Now for the Raptors. I am trying to watch all 82 games and it has been tough to sit through some of them. Here is what i would get each of them for X-mass:
New Head Coach Jay Triano: Advil, he's going to need it.
Chris Bosh: a place on the All-Star team would be my first choice, but it isn't a gift if you already deserve it. I would give him more games on ESPN, so he can stop whining about it in his blog.
Jose Calderon: Some respect, the man is third in the league in assists, hasn't missed a free throw all season long, and I still have to hear past their prime former All-Stars crack on him on NBA TV.
Jamario Moon: An electro shock collar that kicks in every time he thinks he should be shooting a three.
Jermaine O'Neal: A nice bottle of scotch to soothe his self depricating abuse. Look at him after a loss, no one is tougher on Jermaine than Jermaine. Plus, a titanium knee.
Anthony Parker: A clone, to help him get some rest when he has to defend Kobe Bryant, or whatever other All-Star quality 2 he has to defend on any given night.
Jason Kapono: A finish to the Kapono hook, which he has been displaying but not really effectively. He is going to get shots in the lane, might as well finish them.
Joey Graham: A t-shirt that says "Bad Joey Don't Live Here No More". Bad Joey is gone. One of the lone bright spots in this dismal season.
Andrea Bargnani: A consistant spot in the rotation, and some ear plugs so that he doesn't have to suffer anymore abuse at the hands of the Tornoto faithful.
Nathan Jawai: Continued good health. Glad to see the big guy not having to worry about his heart exploding.
Roko Ukic: A stylist. The NBA is the most fashionable league out there, you can't look like you just survived a shipwreck and get any respect out there.
For me, I just want a plus .500 record on this road trip. Starts tonight ahaingt the lowly two win Oklahoma City Thunder.
VOTE FOR CB4.
25 years after Guyville
1 week ago