Friday, February 27, 2009

Looking for a giant map

Last night, I did something I have never done on TV before, I stood in front of a Nunavut map and showed where the individual communities I was talking about are.

It really worked, and I was very happy with the result. So was my boss. So much so that when I asked him this morning, "Can we buy the biggest goddamn map of Nunavut we can find and put it up in the wall here?" he said, 'Sure, good idea."

So, I am officially looking for "the biggest goddamn map of Nunavut" I can find. Any ideas? It has to:

-- stand out on TV
-- be easy to see
-- be so goddamn big that it is an affront to God

The person who finds it will have my admiration, and a smug sense of self-satifaction, and, let's say, some APTN temporary tattoos.

EDITED TO ADD: Of course, I'll post a picture

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Tonight, on the TV

-- Find out out how much it costs to fly around in the High Arctic
-- Watch me ham it up with a map
-- Find out about $65 cranberry juice

I am the D block, second to last block of the show, and it is all me. Watch, enjoy, and discuss. How damn bad do you want cranberry juice if you are willing to pay that?

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Timing is......

Everything. After I scrawled yesterday's missive on the back of a napkin and had my team of stealth monkeys transcribe it for me, and then had the kids post it, I didn't know the Globe and Mail would give me such a great bow to put on top.

The Prime Minister's Office for three days has refused to respond to queries about a Saturday report published in several Ontario newspapers that the President, on his recent visit to Ottawa, invited Ms. Jean to the U.S. capital to talk about the politics and economy of her native Haiti.


Read it all HERE

Maybe they got the advice from their high priced consultants.... read more about that here.

Internal documents suggest the Harper government downplayed health risks and wanted pricey PR advice after halting plans for new schools on native reserves.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Ask a question, I double dare you

I've mentioned before on this blog about the problems trying to deal with the Prime Minister's press people and policy when he visited Iqaluit. The long and the short is that, in order to ask a question, you have to tell them your question. My question was not one the PM wanted to answer, so I got skipped.

I do not like being skipped, and went on air to complain about it. In reality, being skipped because you want to ask a tough question, that is a bit of a compliment. Plus, I got to talk about it on TV, which shows just the kind of news org we are. We don't take being skipped laying down, or at least I don't and our network supported me in that.

When the ministers of this government roll by, we are asked nicely to identify our organization and try to stay on topic. In reality we do neither, but after question four or so, we generally get around to letting the minister know who we represent.

We all know each other, why shouldn't everybody else.

Point being, we get our questions in, and are even polite enough to wait and see if anyone has anything on the topic they are pushing before ranging farther afield. We have had three cabinet ministers through in the last year, and none of them were as big a hassle as the PM, and none of them tried to screen questions.

I don't even have a problem telling people the general subject so they are prepared, I have a problem with submitting questions for vetting.

Well, I'm not the only one having this problem.... no, I am not the lone voice in the wilderness calling out for accountability, I'm one of a chorus.

The following list of stories comes from J-Source.

-- Even Saint Obama can't get by the restrictions.

Harper's spokespeople threatened to cancel the press conference if, at any point in the day, a Canadian reporter shouts out a question without being invited to do so.

White House reporters habitually bark out queries during photo opportunities with the president.

But nobody had better dare pulling such a stunt in Harper's office.

"If you do (ask a question), the photo op will immediately cease," Teneycke said.


-- What did the Harper Government say to each other about listeriosis (aside from wishing death on the member for Malpeque PEI)? Good luck finding out.

The Harper government has delayed for months the release of notes on conference calls held at the height of last summer's deadly listeriosis outbreak — a lag some experts say breaks Ottawa's own information laws.


-- Go ahead and ask that question, and the RCMP will drag you away.

Mounties protecting Prime Minister Stephen Harper during a campaign event in Surrey, B.C., were used Tuesday evening to stop reporters from approaching a high-profile Tory candidate.

"Keep them out," Harper aide Ray Novak shouted at the RCMP security detail as journalists approached Dona Cadman.

CTV's Rosemary Thompson was literally yanked aside by one Mountie as she approached the retreating group - which did not include the prime minister


-- They even kicked out journalists from the lobby of the Delta in Charlottetown.... while tourists were allowed to rubberneck

No cameras, no mics," one plainclothed RCMP officer told CTV News on Wednesday. "That is what the party asked."

The Canadian Press reported that one officer said he was acting on the orders of the Prime Minister's Office.


First thing that crossed my mind when I was skipped was "I should have just lied to them."

"and your question?"

"Infrastructure."

I didn't at the time, due to default setting honesty.

I'm glad I didn't, because my act of defiance would have been fun and good TV, but given the vindictive and ham-fisted methods of this media department, I would have cut our network across the throat. They would never take a question from us again.

Whether you support the policies of this government or not, everyone should get nervous when an elected minority government takes unprecendented pains to limit media access.

I don't know the answer, but why do I have a sneaking suspicion that sometime this summer, I'm going to have to figure it out. According to the INAC Minister, the PM is "bubbling" after every visit to the North. I'm sure he will be back.

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing, end them.

The Ottawa press corp tried that one. They walked out on the PM because of his question list. It didn't last. That's not really an option for me, and would only limit us.

This isn't just a reporters issue, it is one that should be of great importance to all of us, party politics be damned. These guys make the Government of Nunavut Ministers look like Teddy Ruxpin.

I don't have any easy answers, except to say, I can't miss a chance to use a Teddy Ruxpin photo...

Or, to paraphrase The Roots:
"You ain't a killer brother
You're Teddy Ruxpin soft."

EDITED TO ADD: I forgot about the time he refused to answer questions from a national anchor, because.... well, just because I suppose. I woulnd't want to call anyone "chicken", lest I bring out some sort of McFly chicken response. Read it HERE.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

FML

Found a great site today. Go here

It is called FML.... the ml stands for My Life.

It contains reader submitted gems like:

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML


Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML


Today, I greeted a mom and a little girl at the place where I work. The little girl looks at me, looks back at her mom, and says, "Mommy, I hate people." FML


Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML


Today my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML


Great site

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

"Make Believe That A Full Year Stayed In the Heat"

Step 1: Go to Smothered in Hugs brand new website.

Step 2: Go to the AV Section, and download FIVE SONGS.

Step 3: Listen to Passmore Radio.

Step 4: Tell me what the fuck he is singing....

I listen to these guys and get visions of listening to REM on vinyl at my buddy Errol's place. They are like before Peter Buck got let down by his bandmates.

These guys are from PEI, I think they are great, and even the member of the band I know didn't have any idea what they were singing about in Passmore.... go figure...

We also should have gone to jail this summer -- or at least had a stern talking to by the police of the dangers of melon based frivolity -- but I digress.

"The Healing Power of Injury" sounds great from what I have heard. Check it our yourself.... or watch them right bloody here:

Goodnight Moon

The NBA All-Star BReak saw the trading away of my least favourite Raptor, Jamario Moon, known for bad defence and taking stupid shots out of range way too early in the shot clock.

To Honour this great day in Raptor history, I am about to cruxify a classic. Enjoy:

In the General Manager's room
There was a telephone
And a red balloon
And a picture of -

Jamario Moon
And there was one Jermaine O'Neal sitting on a chair

And two Miami Heat
And a slicked back Pat Riley
And a man called the Matrix
And a young backup point guard

And a cry and a crush and a bowl full of losses
And Jose on crutches whispering hush

Goodnight room
Goodnight Moon
Goodnight O'Neal jumping over the Moon
Goodnight Reilly and the two Heat
Goodnight Matrix
Goodnight guard

Goodnight Jose
And goodnight Bosh
Goodnight losses and goodnight stupid threes
Goodnight ACC and goodnight Riley
Goodnight guards and goodnight Kopono's minutes
Goodnight nobody, goodnight mush
And goodnight to Jose on crutches whispering "hush"

Goonight stars
Goodnight air
Goodnight noises everywhere .....

Good night Moon. May the door not hit you on the ass on the way out of town.

On the other hand, Jermaine O'Neil, when that overinflated contract is up, please, come on back. You are OK in my books. You are the first player in NBA history to be thrown out of their own bobblehead night, henceforth known as Joe-Neil.