Goodnight Moon

The NBA All-Star BReak saw the trading away of my least favourite Raptor, Jamario Moon, known for bad defence and taking stupid shots out of range way too early in the shot clock.

To Honour this great day in Raptor history, I am about to cruxify a classic. Enjoy:

In the General Manager's room
There was a telephone
And a red balloon
And a picture of -

Jamario Moon
And there was one Jermaine O'Neal sitting on a chair

And two Miami Heat
And a slicked back Pat Riley
And a man called the Matrix
And a young backup point guard

And a cry and a crush and a bowl full of losses
And Jose on crutches whispering hush

Goodnight room
Goodnight Moon
Goodnight O'Neal jumping over the Moon
Goodnight Reilly and the two Heat
Goodnight Matrix
Goodnight guard

Goodnight Jose
And goodnight Bosh
Goodnight losses and goodnight stupid threes
Goodnight ACC and goodnight Riley
Goodnight guards and goodnight Kopono's minutes
Goodnight nobody, goodnight mush
And goodnight to Jose on crutches whispering "hush"

Goonight stars
Goodnight air
Goodnight noises everywhere .....

Good night Moon. May the door not hit you on the ass on the way out of town.

On the other hand, Jermaine O'Neil, when that overinflated contract is up, please, come on back. You are OK in my books. You are the first player in NBA history to be thrown out of their own bobblehead night, henceforth known as Joe-Neil.

Hug a Reporter

Yes, we all know that Saturday is Valentines Day, at least we do in my house. The Boy and I are going shopping for flowers later today (don't worry, she never reads this thing;) ). It will be romantic. I'll take the baby to swimming lessons and she will use his absence to clean the carpets. Hey, covering each other off IS romantic,.

Me, I'm a fan of March 14, official "Steak and A Blowjob" day. Think of it as Valentines Day from the man's point of view.

But Feb 15 is a VERY important day, as my email tells me. It is international "Hug a Journalist" day. Find your favourite reporter and give them a BIG hug, they deserve it.

The collapse of media is only part of it, there are the physical threats.

Especially after I read this:... a series of stories about journalists in Newfoundland being stalked. I've been working on and off in media since I was 19, and I've seen a few things, but nothing like this.

I've seen radio jocks get stalked, but he shouldn't have been picking from the unstable corner of the Tradewinds if you know what I mean. Sort of brought it on himself.

I've been the radio van boy and had junior high girls find many reasons to come back for more pop.... you smile and laugh it off.

But TV, TV brings out the loonies. When you see us, it is like we are real, which we are, just not the way you think we are.

When I went to our annual meeting/Xmass bash, it freaked me out a little. I was in a room with 500 members of the company and their spouses. They watch our show, and they all knew who the hell I was. I didn't know them.

I mentioned it to the other reporters, who decided that my physical appearance and my series of appearances about the Nunavut election must have played a role. "You have long hair and that beard, of course they recognize you."

It wasn't creepy, it was sort of nice. These were people who cared about our show and wanted to talk about it. Me, I just wanted to drink more imported beers, but the people were too nice for me to be stand-offish.

I'm insulated from that here in Nunavut. Here, the Pope could walk down the street, and the most he would get is a "Qanuippit Your Holiness." Ask Jack White of the White Stripes, no one gave those two people a hard time when they were here. Just a "Hey Jack, Hey Meg" and let them be on their way.

Hug a journalist on Sunday. Better yet, because we get the stalkers, HUG A TV REPORTER. I'll be at the Nav for breakfast, I'll take my hugs there.

EDITED TO ADD: I won't really be at the Nav for breakfast, so keep your stalking to yourself.

The Globe and Mail thinks I'm a bastard

OK, not the paper, but the shrink they brought in to discuss the video you can see here, David After the Dentist.

Read the story here.

David, if I exploited you, I'm sorry. Me, I just remember my first experience with getting doped up at the hospital. I was 12 and went from wanting to fight the nurses to, well, something else that starts with "f".

I still think it is a cute video, not exploitive, and definetely not like Star Wars kid.

Of government websites and minor political hackery

I was looking around on line today, and checked out the message boards over at PEIInfo.com. It seems the the government of PEI has redesigned their website..

Now, as we all know, message boards are the second lowest form of human communication out there (comment sections on national news websites are the lowest).

The partisans over at the message board were bashing Rob Ghiz like a Japanese whaler, over the decision to......

wait for it........

put his picture on the website.....

and to use "Liberal" red (hey jerks, it is Colonel Grey maroon, not Liberal red. Blast him on that).

Off hand, I can think of ten things I would be more pissed off at Premier Rob about... let's start with:

1 - closing rural schools
2 - grabass Deputy Ministers and how much they get paid
3 - the performance of various ministries and their ministers
4 - which Liberal supporters received money from the mysterious Chinese
5 - why people in Western PEI are fighting over windmills
6 - a home EXPLODING in Cornwall (ok, maybe not Rob's fault, but it is Cornwall related, and I hope they find their cat)
7 - the price of milk
8 - the collapse of farming
9 - Government employees faking documents on ATIP requests
10 - Govt reworking the very same website to make sure that public info remains private

See, not hard. A little substance, and I didn't even have to interview anyone. I don't live there, I'm not even that mad about any of it. The one I'm really mad about is not on this list

The reasons are several,
most of them federal
(had to quote Public Enemy, because it does take A Nation Of Millions to Hold Me Back ;))).

The media is no better. "Senator" Duffy says something stupid and they can't do enough stories.....

and never once mention that using the image of two men together in bed as "disgusting" is a pretty damn homophobic thing to say....

But it got me thinking. The Government of Nunavut has a website, and it used to have Premier Okalik's smiling face up there. I remember because they changed his photo when he shaved his moustache.

Go check it now. No Premier Aariak on the front page. What is up with that?

Either Rob or Eva need some hubris, or one needs to lose some. They should sort it out at the next First Minister's meeting, or commission a study, whichever one is determined to be less effective.

Next year's Raptors

Yes, with this season fully in the crapper, I got out a list of restricted and unrestricted free agents for next year. Let this season continue as it has, and maybe we can win the Draft Lottery.

First up, people soon to be ex-Raptors:
Jamario Moon - We can not be rid of this player soon enough. His selfish shooting has been glaring. If you can get even tempered Chris Bosh to call you out on the floor, time to hit the road Mr restricted free agent. I'd take a bag of nachos for him right now.

Will Solomon - Hope you enjoyed the cup of coffee with the Raps. See ya later.

Anthony Parker: HIs bad slump let us all know that there are few miles left on this model... class guy, but needs replacing.

Joey Graham - The only one on the FA list I would keep. If his value hasn't risen too much, I see a role for him with the club. Joey is my secret favourite, let him continue down his slow road of progress.

Now on to the sugar, who is out there? Few names have my interest....

Richard Hamilton from Detroit could be the answer to the low production out of the 2 guard spot, and would add some toughness

Shawn Marion from Miami would play the three, and would be some nice help for our three big rotation. Gives them another outlet.

Damien Wilkens from OKC can play the two or the three. I like him.

Grant Hill from Phoenix is in the middle of a career resurgance.... I'd take him for leadership alone

Now imagine a perfect world where this is the Raptors line-up:
PG - Jose Calderon
SG - Hamilton or Wilkens
SF - Marion or Hill
PF - Bosh
C - O'Neal

Bargnani plays for sixth man of the year, and Joey Graham is right off the bench behind him. Roko stays to develop, Kapono plays spot minutes, and Big Nate keeps on keepin on...

Hooray for swimming

The baby and I are signed up for swimming lessons. Great fun, and Aquatots is a great program with lots of safety features and training for tot and keeper alike.

We went on Saturday, saw lots of people we knew, and had a ton of fun.

Only thing, the baby doesn't like the songs they sing, Ring Around the Rosey and Twinkle Twinkle..... so I quietly sing him his own song...

To the tune of Anarchy in the UK:

"I am an Aquatot
and I am an anarchist
don't know what I want
but I know how to get it
I'm going to spalsh
the passersby
and I
want to see
ANARCHY
on the high seas
follow me."

That's my boy, Sex Pistols over Nursery Rhymes..... watching his brother play too much RockBand I suppose.

"Is this going to be forever..."

Little guy in this video just had teeth pulled, and was suitably doped up. Fantastic video, and watch until the end, about halfway through he fights for his sanity primally.