Mississaugas Finest

Great story in the Halifax Daily News by Paul McLeod about The Dome stopping dollar drink nights. It includes a "very informal survey" of Dal and Kings students living out of town and their reaction to the closure of their favourite place to get piss loaded drunk.

It includes some priceless quotes from students, including one guy from Mississauga who swears and says "ballsack".

A good -- short -- read.

http://www.hfxnews.ca/index.cfm?sid=93481&sc=89

The Halifax Locals page discussing the closure of the most hated bar in the HRM -- possibly the entire east coast -- amongst the discerning crowds. Locals is great for the breaking news aspect of any story, and a funny read in general.

http://media.locals.ca/localsconf/viewtopic.php?t=123977&start=0

Gatorade Scientist?

What medical qualifications do you need to be a "Gatorade Scientist"?

Every year, I watch the World Junior Hockey Championships. Every year, they run Gatorade commercials -- featuring teenagers who are prohibited from being paid for their valuable commercial contribution -- that feature "Gatorade Scientists", talking about the importance of hydration.

Water is better. Noooooooooo, Gatorade is better. Water sucks, it really really sucks. Tackling fuel.

Just like Dad

Every day from about Grade 6 until Grade 10, I wore Chuck Taylor All-Stars. I love those freakin shoes. Mom remembers that, and here is something she sent Joseph.

Everything was great. Played a lot of games, Joseph rolled over once, but we think it was a fluke. Maybe we scared him, Ian and I were watching him, and when he made his successful roll.

We exploded, cheering and the like, scaring young Joseph, and he hasn't rolled since. Black Jack the Blue Parrot should give him some more inspiration.

Don't ask me, I just work here

OK, so it isn't quite as bad as that, but I am the worst resource for Inuktitut you can find.

Statcounter has taught me that most of the hits on my blog are coming from people searching out words in Inuktitut. I pick up what I can, but listening to me is dangerous.

I offer you this example:

My brother-in-common-law was ready to slap me for a particularly bad bit of Inuktitut. Over time, he has gone from listing the reasons he has to shoot me to listing the reasons he has NOT to shoot me, so that is progress.

The word for uncle is OOH-NACK. The word for poop is AAH-NACK. I was telling my step-son to go see his Uncle, and his girls kept laughing at me as he grew more frustrated. I was calling him Poop instead of Uncle. The kids thought it was great, he was less amused.

Another example:

Iqaluit means "place of many fishes". The southern audience says it ICK-CAL-EH-WIT. The Inuit is more like ICK-QUAL-AH-WEET. You need to get your guttural Inuktitut Q in there.

The southern way of saying it means "a shitty, dirty, asshole". It is a butt possessed by someone with very poor personal hygeine. Subtle difference in pronounciation, but a big deal in how you say things.

So, I present you this, all you Googlers out there:

http://www.livingdictionary.com/main.jsp

This is what the Department of Culture, Language, Elders and Youth sends you too, so I'm going to go with them.

Toxic

People accuse politicians and journalists of being toxic, that was never more true than today.

At the Stephane Dion press conference here in Iqaluit, I was still suffering from the flu. Inflatable Elvis was suffering from a cold. A prominent CBC reporter was on crutches due to a dancing related injury, and Dion himself was fighting a cold. He got his cold from travelling from Bali to the Arctic, so no pity here.

Virus farm

I have the flu. I want to die.

The End

All in one short paragraph

http://www.aptn.ca/content/blogcategory/41/90/

Scroll to the bottom, my bio is up on APTN.ca... I got to write it myself.